Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Last week RadioMan and I headed to our favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch because we can't go with bebe - she hasn't yet discovered the wondrousness of good Chinese food. Lunch? Great, as always, despite the fact that they discontinued 2 of RadioMan's favorite dishes.
But at the end of the meal, we only got our check. We didn't get Fortune Cookies. Don't they know a meal is always supposed to be followed by cookies? And that said cookies are always made sweeter by the wise words of Confucious, or whatever distant relative is penning them?
Apparently not. We paid and asked. The lady pointed to a bowl and said we could have a few. But isn't the point of the fortune cookie to have them handed to you? It just seems...strange to me to pick your own fortune cookie. I mean, how can you know that your latent psychic senses aren't picking out the cookie with the fortune that will make you feel the best about that particular moment in time?
Am I right?
Still we played along and RadioMan randomly grabbed a cookie and handed it to me and I grabbed one and handed it to him. So we kind of got real fortunes...except we didn't. Instead of a quippy, insightful statement - you know, like the fortunes I've gotten (and saved - I save fortunes, y'all) in the past these were just listings of lucky numbers. pshaw Lucky numbers, as Sheldon Cooper would say, is pure hokum.
Do you like fortune cookies? And do your local places still offer them?
Friday, March 7, 2014
I love spring. Usually I love winter, too. There is something fresh and exciting about new fallen snow. But this winter I've been dreaming of spring since, oh, about January 10. That was the date of bebe's fourth snow day. Yes, it's been a lo-o-ng winter here. Since the week before Christmas we've had a minimum of 5 inches of snow on the ground...a maximum of about 13 at one point.
Was it worse than winters in other places? No, and a lot of you probably had worse winters that we've had. Still, as the sun starts to shine a little more brightly and those first sprigs of new grass start to push through the ground cover, I am getting really, really excited. About spring. And planting new flowers and mowing the grass and walking the dogs without the need of a facemask *and* a scarf wrapped around my face.
What are you most looking forward to this spring? Leave your answers, along with your email address, in the comments for a chance to win an e-copy of one of my books - winner's choice. Three winners will be chosen, my book covers are listed here and you can find out more about each book by clicking onto my books page.
Now, for the prizes: There are also TWO grand prizes: Two winners will be chosen at random and notified no later than March 15, 2014.
1st Grand Prize: (1) Paperwhite Kindle
2nd Grand Prize: (1) $25 Amazon Gift Card
You can check the official rules here
Don't forget to hop on to these other great writers for chances at some great prizes - all weekend long!
You can find more blog stops at Books To Go Now
Thursday, March 6, 2014
‘Un-button your blouse,’ I whisper quickly.
‘What?’ She looks back at me as if I’m mad.
‘Just do it!’ I hiss.
‘Hello there, Mrs Windsor,’ he smiles, a confident, professional flair to him.
‘Miss Windsor,’ I correct. ‘She’s getting a divorce.’ Meryl looks back at me alarmed. Like I’m telling the truth and she’s the last to know. ‘She’s single.’ I wink at Meryl, desperately hoping she gets my plan.
‘Oh yes,’ she says, sticking her chest out. ‘Totally available,’ she grins, twirling her hair.
‘Okay,’ he nods, clearly confused. ‘I’m afraid that hotel policy states that our wedding deposits are non-refundable. You’ll see that in our small print, in the contract you signed.’
She never mentioned a contract. Fuck.
She looks back at me, clearly searching for an answer.
‘Is it hot in here?’ I ask, sticking my boobs out and in the process Jemima. Maybe he’s into a younger model. ‘I’ve found ever since having a baby I’ve been so hot,’ I purr.
‘Right,’ he nods, his forehead creasing.
‘And horny,’ I add for good measure.
Meryl coughs abruptly. Everyone turns to look at her. She catches my eye and seems to be guiding me over somewhere. I follow her eye range and a man is mopping the floor. There’s no-one around, but he still hasn’t put out one of those yellow warning signs. He’s a bloody liability.
‘I think you need to listen to my reasoning,’ Meryl says, clearly trying to get them to concentrate on her. I start backing away slowly.
‘And what reason do you have?’ he asks suspiciously.
‘The groom is dead!’ she shrieks, bursting into fake tears. ‘My goodness, do you have no compassion?’
They look at each other alarmed.
The cleaner goes off to another patch. This is my chance.
About The Baby & The Bride
Sequel to the #1 Amazon Best-Seller, The Debt & the Doormat (available for FREE)
Poppy and Jazz’s lives sound perfect on paper. Jazz has a new baby and Poppy’s getting married. But their realities are very different.
Poppy must strive to keep her cool new job with crazy hours, while trying to keep Ryan happy. Before she knows it her wedding has got out of control, thanks to her mother, the runners at work are bullying her, her parents are in financial difficulty and she’s doubting everything and everyone she ever knew.
Meanwhile Jazz is struggling with motherhood, something a credit card won’t fix. Why won’t this baby give her a break? Will Jazz be able to cope before she loses it?
And will Poppy make it down the aisle? Will Ryan even be waiting?
Buy the Book: Amazon - US Amazon - UK
All About Laura:
My name is Laura Barnard and I am an author from Hertfordshire, UK. My first chick-lit novel, The Debt & the Doormat was an Amazon number 1 best-seller and won Best Laugh Out Loud Book of 2013. It is available via Amazon, Smashwords, iBooks. Barnes and Noble, The Book Depository and many more.
In my spare time I enjoy drinking my body weight in tea, indulging in cupcakes the size of my face, drooling over hunks like Jamie Dornan, Ryan Gosling and Leo Dicaprio...oh and my husband of course! I like wearing yoga clothes and reading fitness magazines while I sit on the sofa and eat chocolate. I'm a real fan of the power nap and of course, READING!
I write not to get rich or famous, but because I LOVE writing. Even if one person tells me they enjoyed my book it makes the midnight typing worth it!